“Mama, you remember that conversation we had: about me focusing on those who will be there for me when I need it? I think I’ve figured it out— bear with me as this is rough,” a tear fell from his eyes.
“Before I address it, I’ll start by saying this time without you has been fucking rough,” he began. “I don’t even need to run down everything, as I’m sure you are aware of it all,” Kaiden chuckled awkwardly, “and I know you’re probably pissed and disappointed… but Mama, I’m trying. Samantha and I are doing our best to be great parents to Kailyn and Samuel. The road gets tough here and there but we do our best to not let them see our trials. This shit with Smoove is really taking a toll on King Pin, and Jon is taking full advantage of this weakness.”
Thunder rumbled, although the sky was clear. Kaiden chuckled at the idea of it being his mother disapproving of the mention of Jon. He looked at her image on the headstone.
“Yeah, that’s right: Jon. The one we never spoke of,” Kaiden shook his head and paused, letting the weight of the silence settle. “Man, in just knowing him recently, I don’t blame you for not wanting to talk about him. Egotistic and straight-up narcissistic; can’t believe I have his blood running through my veins,” Kaiden gritted his teeth. “Anyway, he had the balls to show up at the repast and has been testing me ever since. He even sent his daughter my way. And I know you always said to practice forgiveness, but how can I forgive someone who’s done us so wrong?” Kaiden shook his head as a tear came to his eye. “I didn’t mean to dwell on Jon for too long — it’s just hard not to. But that’s not the only thing weighing heavy.”
Christina and Samantha had a pretty bad fallout,” he changed subjects. He didn’t wish to get too emotional while talking about Jon. “I’ve seen them bounce back from things, but this time around, I am honestly not too sure.” Kaiden reflected on their argument. “Christina had the nerve to question Samantha’s loyalty and judgement, after Samantha commented on Christina’s addiction and trials with Trequan. It got pretty nasty,” he admitted. “Women, emotions, and alcohol do not mix,” he chuckled. “Police were called, I was detained, and you can imagine how police rolling up to The Base looked: it wasn’t pretty.”
Kaiden looked at the clouds as the sun shined down on him. “Well, there’s some good news in all this,” he smiled. “I’m going back to get my degree; just like we spoke about, but I’m going to need your help to push through,” he admitted. “I’m already knowing Samantha and god-momma Ari got my back, but it’s nothing compared to a mother’s love,” he wiped his eyes. “I’ve been talking to my therapist and having sessions with her; sometimes two-to-three a week when times are really rough. I think we’re really making headway, and I think she’s the one that helped me come to the realization of who’s the one to hold it down regardless: it’s you,” Kaiden spoke. “And since you left, I’ve been on a search to find a love as genuine as yours. I mean it’s been pretty obvious, but the closest thing to your love is Samantha — I owe it to her to devote more time and energy to her and our little ones. Work is my escape and I’ve learned this, but I can’t let it take over my life.”
It began to drizzle and Kaiden smiled.
“I got to get back to them, Ma, but I’ll be back soon with Sam, Kailyn, and Samuel. You’re always in our hearts, and I’m going to always love you.” Kaiden kissed his hand and touched the headstone. “See you later, Ma,” he uttered before walking away.
