It’s Worth It

“I don’t know, Doc,” Kaiden spoke as he lied on the sofa. “I’ve just been working to keep my mind busy.”
“And, what do you think has caused this spurt in work?” his therapist questioned. “What is it that you feel needs to be done, that isn’t?”
Kaiden sat erect on the couch. “There’s so much that has to be done. Ari has a meet-and-greet in a few weeks, gotta finish the paperwork for The Major Kingz so they can start getting bigger dollars for their work, making sure the legal team stays sharp.” Kaiden put his hands on his head.

The therapist continued to jot down notes on the notepad.
“All of it seems a bit overwhelming,” the therapist spoke. “What do you do to keep your thoughts from taking over?”
“Work,” Kaiden immediately replied.
“So, you work to keep your mind from being overwhelmed with work?” the therapist inquired.
“I know, I’m crazy,” Kaiden rose to his feet. “I guess that’s why I’m in therapy,” he shrugged as he looked out of the window.

His therapist’s office was located in the heart of downtown Chicago on the 56th floor of the building, so the view was extraordinary.
“Being in therapy doesn’t make you crazy,” she spoke gently. “In fact, therapy is a way for you to express yourself in a safe and healthy way, and that’s what we practice here, Kaiden.”
Kaiden looked at her with a slight smile.
“I know you may think you pay me to say this,” she chuckled, “but I’m truly here for you, Kaiden. “The things we discuss in here truly stay between us and I want the best for you.”
Kaiden didn’t respond but continued to look into the distance.

“Do you feel that the passing of your mom has anything to do with your consistent need and desire to work and stay busy?”
Kaiden’s eyes widened as she spoke. A tear fell from his eye. “I’m trying to do what I feel would make her happy,” he exhaled slowly.
The therapist rose to her feet. “One thing that would make her happy, is for Kaiden to take care of Kaiden,” she spoke as she inched closer to Kaiden with the notepad in her hand.
Kaiden slowly nodded his head as he looked out of the window.

“You told me that during one of your conversations with your mom, she once asked you who was going to be there for you. Remember that conversation a few sessions back,” she asked.
“I’ll never forget it,” Kaiden sighed. “That conversation was everything, yet extremely emotional.”
A few moments of silence passed before the therapist spoke again.
“Kaiden, honestly, what do you think your mom would say if she saw you now?”
“After everything that’s happened, she’s probably turning over in her grave now.”
“We all do things that we aren’t proud of,” she spoke softly, “but that’s what makes us human. It’s how we respond to those adversities that define us.”
Kaiden agreed. “That part.”

“Would you say you work to right your wrongs?” she questioned.
Kaiden turned slightly and faced her. He didn’t think of it that way, and to him, it made plenty of sense.
“Possibly,” he shrugged his shoulders.
“But can we both agree that it’s not needed,” she suggested.
“I fell short,” Kaiden had flashbacks of everything that occurred over the past year. “I have to make it right.”
“For who?” she asked.
“For my family; my brand; my reputation; my mom…” Kaiden answered with tears in his eyes.
“Kaiden, your mom is proud of you and couldn’t be more proud of you,” she answered. “Your family, your brand and reputation aren’t tarnished because of past mistakes.” She walked over to the desk and grabbed the box of Kleenex. “You’re a good man,” she handed him the box, “and your family knows this. Your artists know this as well; if outsiders judge you because of what happened, that’s completely on them.”
Kaiden walked back over to the chair and sat.
“But, I noticed you didn’t mention yourself when you told me who you were working to make things right for.”

Kaiden raised his eyebrows.
“We spend so much time working to ensure everyone else is taken care of and focusing on what others think, that we don’t take a moment to truly understand what we want or need,” the therapist spoke as she took the seat across from Kaiden.
Kaiden didn’t verbally respond.
“Is this the only time you feel vulnerable, Kaiden,” she referred to the therapy session.
“No,” he inhaled. “I can talk to my wife and friends, with no judgment,” Kaiden mentioned.
“How often do you just unwind and disconnect?” she inquired.
“When I’m in the studio,” Kaiden day-dreamed.
“But that’s work, Kaiden,” she responded.
“Yeah, but when I’m making music, nothing can touch me,” Kaiden remarked. “It truly puts me in my happy place.”
“So, you take¬†you time when you’re in the studio; that’s good,” she spoke as she wrote on the notepad.
“Aside from being here, it’s the only time I feel I can really let it all out, in a creative form.” Kaiden closed his eyes.
“Just like our therapy sessions,” the therapist suggested.

Kaiden chuckled with his eyes closed.
“It’s deeper than that. Music is my therapy.”

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